Each of us has our own story.

After all it is our experiences that make us who we become. I often tell people we are one CHAT away from compassion, because we are. Have you ever made a decision about someone only after a few minutes of meeting them? In essence what we do is scan that person’s behaviors, words, and traits and align them with our previous experiences and beliefs. We then draw a conclusion about that person, sometimes without them even opening their mouths. In essence, we are all master story tellers and we are not conscious at times that we are even doing it. We take bits and pieces of our past and weave them together to create our future, or worse someone else’s. It is like visiting the ocean and standing in the sand looking out over the water viewing it as far as your eye can see and thinking that is the entire ocean. Yet the ocean goes way beyond what our human eyes can see and so do people. Even with technology, like binoculars and telescopes, we still never truly see all that makes up the ocean.

After all, we are only looking at its surface. Under the ocean are beautiful landscapes, coral reefs, and dark caves. There is an abundance of wildlife and deep waters that we do not have the technology yet to explore. We too have beauty and dark places we may not want others to explore. We have years of experiences that make up our lives. I know that I can get upset if I believe another person has judged me without even talking to me. I think we may all agree that we do not appreciate when people draw conclusions about us, yet we do it to each other. How ironic when you think about it huh?

Have you ever made a decision about someone only to have an opportunity to talk with them a day, week, months or years later? I mean really talk? Maybe your conversation started out awkwardly with that voice in your head reminding you of the conclusion you drew back when. Maybe you weren’t even fully engaged in the conversation and WHAM, they say something that snaps you out of your head and brings you into awareness. Yes, that moment is the moment you found something that resonated with you. That moment is the inspiration of many great novels. It is what opens our hearts with compassion and creates the twists in our stories. I believe if we talk to someone long enough and really listen, (not the type of listening when you are just waiting for them to stop talking long enough so you can tell them all the thoughts you had while the spoke, but the kind of listening where you are actually engaged to hear) we can find that place of compassion and our old stories about one another fall away and new possibilities are created.

The beauty about this is that we can do this at anytime, with anyone, if we choose. It is always a choice. It doesn’t cost us anything but changing the way we think. The payoff is that we have an opportunity to gain deeper relationships. We may not recognize it is only out of habit we do this, but just like any other habit we can create a new one. Yes, creating new habits takes some work and commitment in the beginning, but soon after they become as effortless as when we use to just draw conclusions. The only difference is when we consciously choose not to create stories or jump to conclusions about the people in our lives, including what we see on the news, the happier and more peaceful we feel!

We then live from a place of possibility, not just for ourselves but for others, and we create unlimited opportunities. What would your world look like,, if you lived knowing you are not privy to the whole story and just let go of judgment?